Some Rules I Learned After Divorce that as a Matchmaker I Feel Compelled to Share
My database spans 21 to 85 years of age but the sweet spot right now is 35–65. If you’re dating post divorce, here are some tips from someone who’s been there and now helps others find love the second (or third) time around.
Rule 1. Don’t date until you’ve taken time to reflect and heal. Avoid dating to escape loneliness or fill a void. Rebuild your life first. Make it full, rich, and yours. Only then are you ready to share it with someone equal.
Rule 2. Keep your routines and standards as you like them but stay flexible. I am not saying to shrink yourself or settle but do stay open to growth and compromise with the RIGHT person.
Rule 3. Write your checklist… then throw it out.
Your greatest match may not come in the package you expect. Be willing to break old patterns. You’ve evolved so what you THINK you want may no longer serve you.
Rule 4. The only checklist that matters is how you FEEL in their presence. It’s not about their job, height, or hobbies. It’s about how safe, seen, and cherished you feel when you’re with them.
Rule 5. Don’t overshare on date 1!! No trauma dumping. No bonding over divorce stories. It’s not sexy or hot. The past is the past.
Rule 6. If they make you anxious, that’s not chemistry. It’s your nervous system loud and clear. Listen! The chase…in my opinion is a big fat red flag. You don’t need to earn love it should feel peaceful, not chaotic.
Rule 7. Run from potential. You’re not here to fix people. This is your second round so go for someone who IS (right now) not someone who could be.
Final rule! Look for the 3 A’s
Attraction, Admiration, Adoration.
You must feel physically drawn to them. You must admire their life, values, and the way they show up. And they must absolutely adore you…consistently, effortlessly, and without conditions.
